his girlfriend was a whore: a st patrics day story

my computer had 0 infections, i have 4 ba dum tsk! just kidding

so there i am standing on the patio having a cigarette, some overweight tranqualizer whore, decides to make fun of my total friends awesome vest, he responds "its okay, everyone has a taste bud" but i think her taste buds went sour, her angry abusive boyfriend says ill beat you up come down here he says no dude i dont like fighting so he swings at richi and i was like wow rich isnt there, but you hit me, and that sort of tickled. and he got really mad.

i dont know about you guys but i dont show my girlfriend im macho by getting angry and beating people up for no reason, i show them i am macho by not being afraid to dress better than them on any given day. they love having a trophy bf at their side, gives them self esteem.

i am a total helper to girls with low confidence, by being better than them at everything they feel they are visually appearing better to other people than their self esteems go so high that they decide to move on, when that happens and they realize they were only self esteemed because of me they come crying right on back, but i say. "I am like the wind, moving oonnnnnnn"

i did some shots ran into some pals, talked to some gals... but not the hot ones, they were hard to talk to. but most not hot ugly girls are usually realy good people,unless they weigh 3000 lbs cause no one that weights 3000lbs is nice.

TIME WAS MOVING SLOW, so i did a surfer dude dance, Rich pretended to be australian but he really sucked at it, around this time graham was around mumbling things, i didnt really know what he was talkig about because he wasnt really there just his mouth was moving and some sounds were coming out.

i pulled up pants into capris even though they looked silly with my socks but i did it anyways cause i was pretty wasted, thats wat drunks do, ... dumb things. well so i thought it was about time for me to go on a adventure so i went to walk down the street where a ferocious fire breathing thick scaled douche bag was bothers some of our promo girls, so i pulled out my sword of 1000 truths and totally slayed him down and rescued the girls and brought them back to diablo to get experience points, and i totally gained a level! best quest ever.

than i decided it was time to get some more xp by walking down hess and running into people from my class and matt bereberick who was totally normal weight now which was weird for me to accept but i got to it.

i left there to go down to che where i ran into a female whom braught me to her house, which was down the street, i tried to put on the song from surfer dude but i couldnt realy see straight so i got her to help, i had to pee but her light wasnt working so i told her i have to go, i went outside and i forgot i had to pee, than i forgot i was at her house, than i ran into rich and meg pie who is a really wise mathmetician-sian? anyways

next thing i remember is eating frozen food right before i went to sleep regrtting a majority of the things ive said... maybe done uhm yeah than i slept